The Doctor & the Diva
by ijnfleetadmiral
Summary: What happens when a former Extreme Exposé member meets her near-complete opposite? Sparks fly! Also heavy humor featuring three other pairings.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary:** What happens when a former Extreme Exposé member meets her near-complete opposite? Sparks fly! Also heavy humor featuring three other pairings.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing except Spencer, Honoria, Amelia, Josh, Marcus, and Tiffany.

**Author's Note:** When you picture Spence in your mind, picture (personality-wise) a young Frasier or Niles from _Frasier_, or a young Major Winchester from _M*A*S*H*_.

**The Doctor and the Diva**

**Chapter One: A Night Out with Uncle Spence**

Dr. Dalton Spencer Harrison III, Ph.D., Professor of Naval History specializing in Germany and Japan at Boston College, could do nothing but listen indignantly as his younger sister Amelia told him what he was going to be doing with his niece and nephew the following evening.

_"The seats are ringside, Spence, so you'll be right at the barrier. It'll be just like watching it on TV."_

Spencer finally managed to find his voice.

"Amelia, surely you jest...if you're even thinking that I would stoop so low as to even _set foot inside the arena_ where such a thing is being held...the very idea is ludicrous!"

His sister's annoyance was evident by the tone of her voice. _"Spence, these are ringside seats...you have no idea how much Josh had to go through to get these tickets. He was going to take them, but something came up at work."_

"So go yourself!" Spencer was racking his brain for a way to get out of this.

_"I wish I could, but I have to work late that night, too."_

Spencer was not pleased at all by her answer. "How convenient is this? The both of you have to work late that night! Is that code for 'this is all a ploy so we can have some alone time'?"

The silence from the other end of the phone told Spencer all he needed to know.

"No! Absolutely not! Yes, I'll be glad to take the children out, but NOT where you planned! I'll take them to the new Egyptian exhibit at the local museum...don't children find mummies interesting?"

Amelia's protest was almost immediate. _"No way, Spence -"_

"My name," her brother ground out, "is 'Spencer'. Not 'Spence', not 'Spencey', and most certainly not 'The S-Man', as your ingrate of a husband seems unable to absorb through the frayed ball of moldy lint in his head that somehow functions in place of a brain."

_"Josh is a lot smarter than you give him credit for, Spencer,"_ Amelia snapped. _"He just likes kidding around...you've known that since the first time you met him."_

"Yes, and I find that an admirable trait of his...one that should be a requirement for all his fellow cardiologists," Spencer quipped.

_"You're impossible, Spencer!"_

"No, I'm practical, Amelia...I have no interest in sports whatsoever, and I find it repugnant that people whose job consists of them kicking, throwing, or catching a ball and running around a playing field get paid yearly sums that would take me - a _summa cum laude_ Ph.D. graduate of the very university I teach at - ten _lifetimes_ to even come close to!"

A defeated sigh could be heard over the line. _"Fine...name your terms, Spencer."_

"What?"

_"What do you want in exchange for doing this?"_

That brought the college professor up short. _What would be equal to what she's asking me to do? Let me see...let me see...ah!_

Spencer couldn't keep the smugness out of his voice as he replied, "I'll do this for you...if you pay for all of tomorrow night's expenses, _and_ if you'll cover for me at the family reunion in July."

_"What do you mean, 'cover for you'?"_ Amelia inquired. _"Aren't you going to be there?"_

"What, and listen to another year of Mother saying, 'You remember Spencer...thirty-one years old, has a Ph.D. in Naval History, youngest tenured professor of his subject in the history of Boston College? Oh yes, all very impressive achievements, but he's still grieving for his late wife and so he has no romantic prospects for the future.'? Absolutely not! I'm planning a three-month trip this summer, touring the battlefields of the Pacific War. So, while you and Doctor Giggles are stuck listening to our relatives prattle on about who died since last year, I will be enthralled while touring the bunkers on Tarawa."

Amelia's indignant protest was cut off by Spencer's final sentence.

"Take it or leave it, dear sister."

An reluctant sigh came over the line before Amelia replied.

"Fine...be here around 6:30 tomorrow evening," she bit out.

"Until then, Amelia," Spencer replied, before hanging up the phone and smiling to himself. Yes, things always had a way of working out for the better.

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By 7:30 the following evening, Spencer was ready to pull his hair out. Traffic on the way to the arena had been horrible, and he was already nursing a headache which was sure to get worse once the show started.

On the upside, however, Amelia had handed him one of Josh's credit cards, telling him to use it to buy some souvenirs for the kids. Spencer had no qualms about stopping at a Chevron station on the way to the arena and using the card to put a full tank of gas in his Cadillac as well. As soon as they got inside the arena, Marcus and Tiffany - who were already bouncing off the walls in their excitement - headed for the souvenir tables that had been set up.

"Uncle Spence! Uncle Spence!" ten-year-old Marcus clamored for his uncle's attention. "Can I buy a John Cena hat and t-shirt?"

"Marcus, I have your father's credit card," Spencer grinned. "Of _course_ you can!"

"Wow! Look at those!" Marcus's twin sister Tiffany exclaimed, pointing to exact replicas of the various WWE title belts. These were nothing like the $15 plastic ones seen on Wal-Mart shelves; these were made of the same things the actual belts themselves were. A small sign on the vendor's table offered to engrave one's name on the belt for a small additional fee.

Spencer grinned as he fingered Josh's credit card in his jacket pocket. _He'll need a cardiologist of his own when he sees this credit card bill! A shame a chance for nookie with my sister was more important than taking his kids to this like he promised...ah well, such is the price of life!_

He led Marcus and Tiffany over to the belt vendor's table.

"One Women's Championship belt and one WWE Championship belt, please," he informed the vendor. "I'd like the name 'Marcus Richards' engraved on the WWE title, and the name 'Tiffany Richards' engraved on the women's title." As the kids screamed with joy, he added, "this will be on Visa."

After purchasing the belts, the trio continued to shop. By the time they were finished, both kids had wardrobes, posters, books, and action figures with playsets for every WWE superstar - or in Tiffany's case, Diva - they liked. Spencer even found a few things for himself, buying a pair of Undertaker sweatpants because he thought the demonic design on the leg looked interesting, a Shawn Michaels shirt with the phrase _'Many are called...but few are chosen'_ on it, and John Cena and DX hats of his own.

After carting their purchases back out to the car - this was done after Marcus changed into his newly-purchased John Cena gear in a men's restroom stall, and Tiffany put on a Maria Kanellis t-shirt - the trio returned to the arena and found their seats. As they waited for the night's show to begin, a voice came over the arena's address system:

_"Good evening to all the WWE fans in the building tonight. Check your seat numbers because have we got a treat for you! If you have the right seat number, you'll receive backstage passes for every member in your party! Five lucky people will receive this prize, so keep those tickets handy!"_

Marcus and Tiffany clutched their tickets and waited for the winners to be announced.

_"If you're in seat number AD-52, congratulations...you're a winner! That's seat number AD-52, folks!"_

The kids' excitement lessened considerably. They were all the way down in Row A...nowhere near the seat that had been called.

_"Winner number two...if you're in seat number W-21, congratulations! That's seat number W-21, folks!"_

Again, no luck.

_"Winner number three...If you're in seat number H-14, congratulations! That's seat number H-14, folks!"_

Again, no luck.

_"Winner number four...if you're in seat number P-99, congratulations! That's seat number P-99, folks!"_

The kids were again disappointed. Spencer shook his head. They were all the way in the front row...there was no way there was gonna be a winner anywhere near their seats.

_"And our final pick of the night: if you're in seat number A-25, congratulations...you're a winner! That's seat number A-25, folks! Again, thanks for attending tonight's show, and all of us here hope you have a great time!"_

_Well, will wonders never cease,_ Spencer thought to himself. _They actually called somebody in the front row. I pity the poor sap who has to actually go backstage and meet the people who put on this farce._

He was brought out of his smug thoughts by screams from Marcus and Tiffany, who were shoving their tickets in his face.

"What? What is it?" he asked, somewhat irritated by his niece and nephew's actions.

"Check the seat number on your ticket, Uncle Spence!" Tiffany shrieked in excitement.

Spencer checked Marcus's ticket: _Seat A-24_. His stomach dropped to his shoes.

He checked Tiffany's ticket: _Seat A-26_. His stomach dropped out of his shoes and onto the arena floor.

With a sinking feeling, he reached into his jacket pocket, brought out his own ticket, and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to snatch a moment of inner peace before he faced the inevitable.

He cracked open one eye and glanced down at his ticket: _Seat A-25_.

His stomach began digging a hole to China. The 'poor sap' in his row was him. He stared straight ahead as though numb with shock while Marcus and Tiffany danced around in excitement at the prospect of getting to meet their favorite superstars.

"Sir?"

Spencer turned to find of one of the arena people addressing him.

"Yes?"

"How many are in your party, sir?"

"Three," Spencer muttered. "Myself and my niece and nephew."

The young man nodded. "I'll come get you when the show's over and take you backstage."

"Couldn't we do it now?" Spencer injected a pleading note into his voice. "I don't want to prolong this ordeal any more than I already have to."

The man shook his head. "All backstage visits happen after the show...sorry, sir."

Spencer glowered at the man as he departed. _Oh, goody...another hour so backstage after the show's over. Just how I wanted to end this night._

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By the end of the show, Spencer's minor headache had turned into a gigantic throbbing one, and he was in absolutely no mood to go backstage. But he also knew the kids would be heartbroken if they didn't get to go, so he swallowed his pride and went along.

As they followed the crewmember backstage, a young woman came up to them.

"You're the last group of winners?" When Spencer nodded, she replied, "Is there anything I can get for you while you're back here?"

"How about two Excedrin and a bottle of water?" Spencer quipped, and to his surprise the young woman nodded and rushed off.

Once he'd swallowed the Excedrin, Spencer slowly began to feel better. He obligingly took pictures with his cell phone as the kids posed with their favorite superstars and Divas, and conversed politely -albeit briefly - with a couple of the Divas who approached him. He was pleasantly surprised to find that nearly all of the wrestlers enjoyed meeting their fans and posing for pictures, and that several of Tiffany's favorite Divas that were in attendance that night adored kids. He gladly took pictures of Tiffany posing with Mickie James, Maria Kanellis, and Michelle McCool, all of whom smiled flirtatiously at him, but were disappointed when he didn't appear interested in them at all.

When both kids had met pretty much everybody backstage, Spencer came up behind Marcus who was staring after World Heavyweight Champion John Cena and muttering, "That was so cool...that was so cool..." over and over again.

"Are you two ready to go now?"

Tiffany shook her head. "I still haven't met Kelly Kelly."

Spencer, wanting to get out of there as soon as possible, grabbed a passing crewmember.

"Do you know if Kelly Kelly's here tonight?"

The young man nodded. "Ms. Blank's still in the locker room. She should be leaving shortly."

Spencer thanked the crewmember and turned to relay the news to Tiffany, but was cut off by her running past him to someone coming out of a locker room. Marcus followed his sister, and both kids started talking excitedly. Spencer rolled his eyes and followed.

"I take it this is the person you wanted to meet, Tiffany?"

The person turned at the sound of his voice, and Spencer found himself staring into the most beautiful pair of pale green eyes he'd ever seen in his life. For the second time in his life, he was at a loss for words. The first time had been...no, he refused to even think of that. It was too painful.

"Yeah, she is," came his niece's reply before she addressed the Diva beside her. "This is my Uncle Spence."

"Charmed," Spencer replied, shaking the Diva's hand and doing his utmost to recover from his reaction to her.

She was gorgeous...blonde hair that looked like cornsilk and a body that would tempt a saint. She was about the age of some of his students. And completely off-limits, in his way of thinking.

"Likewise," the young woman replied, gracing him with a smile that could stop traffic.

Spencer forced down improper thoughts - in other words, any of a romantic nature - and nodded politely. He took pictures of Kelly with his niece and nephew before the blonde Diva told them goodbye and headed off, leaving his niece smiling widely.

"She's even nicer in person, Uncle Spence!" Tiffany exclaimed, and Spencer nodded.

"Yes, she was very polite. She truly seems to love her fans."

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Spencer's headache was slowly returning as he backed out of his parking space. The kids had asked him to play the RAW 15th Anniversary CD on the drive home; Shawn Michaels' theme song was currently thumping through the sound system, and Spencer's head was throbbing to the exact same beat.

The Cadillac was making its way to the ground floor when Tiffany suddenly shouted from the backseat,

"Uncle Spence, stop! I see Kelly Kelly!"

Spencer was about to reply that they'd already met said Diva, but then he saw the young woman looked somewhat stressed, so he pulled up alongside her and rolled down the passenger side window.

"Everything all right, Ms. Blank?" he inquired.

The young woman flashed him a forced smile. "Yeah...I'm just enjoying the walk back to my hotel since my rental car chose to quit on me."

Spencer unlocked the doors. "Get in...we'll take you."

She seemed surprised for a moment, but then smiled genuinely at him and opened the door.

"Thanks," she replied, and turned to greet the kids in the back before settling back in her seat.

"Nice car," she commented. "Lemme guess...you're a lawyer, right?

"Thank you, and no, I'm not," Spencer replied. "I'm actually a college professor."

"Wow..." Kelly raised her eyebrows in surprise. "I didn't know they paid college professors this good."

Spencer shrugged. "The higher your degree, the better your pay. And if you've got tenure, it's even better."

Kelly smiled at him and nodded, but her smile dimmed somewhat when she noticed the streetlight glinting off the wedding band on Spencer's left hand.

"You're married?" Spencer was surprisingly pleased to hear the slight note of disappointment in her voice, and at the same time steeled himself against the stab of pain the question had invoked since that day over two years ago. He sighed deeply before replying softly,

"Widowed."

"Oh..." the young blonde trailed off, now appearing unsure what to say next. She remained quiet for the remainder of the ride, save for giving directions when asked. When Spencer pulled up in front of the hotel, she said goodbye to Tiffany and Marcus, and was about to say goodbye to Spencer when she decided to be spontaneous like usual, and instead leaned over and pecked him on the cheek.

"Thanks for the ride...you're a lifesaver," she stated happily as she got out of the car.

Spencer forced down the shock at feeling her soft lips on his cheek and managed to reach over, open the glove box, remove a business card, and hand it to her.

"A souvenir of your time in Boston," he told her, and she laughed before saying goodnight, shutting the door, and heading inside the hotel.

"She was nice, Uncle Spence," Tiffany stated.

"She _kissed_ you!" Marcus exclaimed.

"Indeed," Spencer replied, "and you're to keep that just between us...no telling your parents or grandparents of this, understood?"

He sighed, knowing his niece and nephew were devious enough to want a little incentive to keep this quiet, and cringed at what he was about to say.

"Tiffany, you keep this quiet...and I'll take you to that Hannah Montana concert you're dying to go see next month." {**Author's Note:** I have no idea if ten-year-old girls like Hannah Montana or not...if they don't, sue me.}

He cringed at the excited high-pitched scream that reverberated through the car.

"What about me, Uncle Spence?" Marcus - no big fan of Hannah Montana - wanted to know.

Spencer racked his brain, trying to come up with something suitable. _Some Power Ranger toys? No, he's got enough of those to build a small army with. What would all his friends be extremely jealous of? Ah-ha!_

"Marcus, you keep this quiet and the weekend your sister gets to see Hannah Montana, on the way home from the concert, we'll pull into an empty parking lot at the mall and I'll let you drive this car for ten minutes."

"SWEET! You've got a deal, Uncle Spence!" Marcus shouted.

As the kids talked excitedly about the deal they'd just made with their uncle, Spencer attempted to turn his attention back to his driving, but his mind kept bringing up the peck on the cheek he'd received from a very beautiful young woman.

_'Young' is right_, Spencer thought. _I have students who are older than her._ He shook his head to clear his mind, but then visions of sparkling green eyes floated up to him, and he chuckled softly.

"Are you trying to tell me something here, Honoria?" he murmured, talking - as he often did - to his late wife.

Apparently she was, for he couldn't help but smile as the next track on the CD began playing:

_Holla...holla._

_So all my girls in the club say 'ooh', 'cause you know just how we do..._

**R&R, please!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two: Love & War**

Kelly walked through the door of her hotel room to find her three best friends lying around on the beds and watching television.

"Where've you been?" Mickie James asked. "We were worried about you."

"My rental wouldn't start, but I got a ride from someone," Kelly replied as she sat down on the bed and toed off her heels.

"One of the backstage crewmembers?" Michelle McCool asked, and Kelly shook her head in response.

"Actually, from one of the people who won backstage passes tonight. The guy who brought his niece and nephew."

"Oh, the cute one," Michelle replied, and Maria Kanellis and Mickie giggled.

"Did you find out anything about him?" Mickie asked.

"He's a college professor," the young Diva replied as she opened her purse to retrieve the business card Spencer had given her.

"Here's what his card says: '_Boston College...Dr. D. S. Harrison III, Ph.D...Professor of Naval History_'."

"The guy's a _Doctor_?!" Mickie squealed.

"What kind of car's he drive?" Michelle asked.

Kelly gave them a smug grin. "A fully-loaded Cadillac Seville."

"Yeeow!" Mickie exclaimed. "Money _and_ brains! Wonder if he's married..."

Kelly grabbed her pajamas and some clean underwear, deciding to make a break for the bathroom and the shower without saying anything on the subject, but Michelle stopped her.

"You know whether or not he's married, don't you?" she stated.

"No..." Kelly cursed herself for taking so long to answer, and thereby all but confirming she did indeed know.

"Do too!" Maria replied.

"But I'm not telling!" Kelly retorted, giggling, running into the bathroom and locking the door before they could get to her.

When she came out, her friends started in on her again.

"You do so know!" Mickie told her, and Kelly merely nodded.

"Yup...sure do. But you're just gonna have to wonder, arent'cha?"

"Get her!" Michelle yelled, and Kelly squealed as a pillow / tickle fight ensued, which ended with Michelle and Maria holding her down while Mickie tickled her and demanded to know the answer.

"Ok! Ok!" Kelly gasped through giggles. "He's been widowed about two years now!"

Michelle and Maria released her. "That wasn't so hard, now was it?" Mickie grinned.

"Not yet, but it's gettin' there," a new voice chimed in.

The four Divas turned to see Chris Jericho standing just inside the room, in front of the doorway that connected the second hotel room to the one the girls were currently in. He was holding up his IPhone, having recorded their entire fight. Behind him in the doorway stood WWE Champion Jeff Hardy and World Heavyweight Champion John Cena. All three were grinning like idiots, and Chris was slowly backing into his hotel room.

"Gentlemen," he addressed the two Champions behind him, "now stored on my IPhone is a five-minute video clip that - if the Academy Awards had a 'Best Naughty Film' category - would surely take the Oscar. Not because of the naughtiness factor, and not even because it was filmed by the great Y2J, but simply because of who's in it." He then addressed the girls. "Thanks for the show, ladies, and have a good night!"

"GET THAT PHONE!" Mickie yelled, and all four Divas leapt at the former World Heavyweight Champion, who literally dove back into the adjoining room and Jeff and John slammed and locked the door.

"Jeffrey Nero Hardy, open this door right now!" Maria yelled as she banged on the door, huffing in annoyance at the laughter coming from the other side.

"John Felix Anthony Cena! When we get our hands on you...!" Michelle trailed off, too angry to finish the threat.

"Is that a promise, Ms. McCool? Do I need to stay after class for detention?" the World Heavyweight Champ taunted through the door while Jeff and Chris laughed. He'd gotten to know the former junior-high teacher in recent weeks, and had found her to be a great person. However, seeing her in silky pajama bottoms, no bra, and a wife-beater that showed off several inches of flat, tanned stomach made him take a look at her through a different perspective. He wasn't blind; there was no denying the Diva's Champion was incredibly hot...he just couldn't believe he hadn't seen it before now.

He laughed as Michelle's growl of frustration filtered through the door.

"Just forget it..." Mickie's voice was heard next. "They're never gonna open that door. Now Kelly..." both Jeff and John listened intently when Mickie's voice turned downright sultry, "why don't you and Michelle come over here and show us why blondes have more fun?"

Jeff and John's jaws dropped, and Chris's eyes went as wide as dinner plates as four sets of seductive giggles were heard from the next room, followed by some soft moans.

"Holy crap..." Jeff mouthed, and John nodded emphatically in agreement.

"Ooh, Mickie!" the guys heard Kelly squeal, "I _love_ it when you wear black...it makes you look so _naughty_!"

Jeff and John glanced over at Y2J, who emitted a strange sort of whimper / growl in reaction to Kelly's statement about Mickie.

"Maria," Michelle remarked, "your theme song fits you perfectly...your legs _do_ go on for days."

Another round of innocent giggling followed.

"That's it..." John muttered, and reached for the doorknob.

"NO! DON'T OPEN THAT -" Chris yelled, but never got to add the word 'door', for the door flew open and four very determined Divas charged into the room. Chris let out a girly shriek and made a beeline for the bathroom with Mickie hot on his heels, while Maria tackled Jeff onto the nearest bed and Kelly and Michelle dove at John.

The fight was fairly one-sided; Jeff and Maria weren't so much wrestling as they were groping; they'd been attracted to each other for quite some time now, and any chance to 'inadvertently' feel each other up wasn't going to just go by the wayside.

John, on the other hand, had heard Chris's girly shriek and had started laughing so hard he was afraid he was going to wet himself. When Kelly and Michelle ganged up on him and Kelly leapt onto his back, the World Heavyweight Champ simply collapsed on the floor and continued laughing while Michelle stood over him and glowered disapprovingly, her hands on her hips.

Chris, meanwhile hadn't been lucky enough to get in the bathroom and lock the door before Mickie could catch him. Instead, the Women's Champ had locked herself in the bathroom with him, and had managed to snatch Chris's IPhone from him.

"Where is it?" she demanded, holding his phone over the toilet.

"Or what? You'll drop it?" Chris smirked. "Listen, Mickie Mouse, that thing's waterproof...I've even used it in the shower."

Mickie wanted to strangle Chris when she heard him use the one nickname she detested above all others, but instead she merely smiled and dropped the IPhone into the toilet. "Let's see how waterproof it is after it takes a tour of the Boston sewer system."

With that, she flushed the commode. Chris's IPhone went round and round...and then it went down.

"AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!" Chris screamed at the top of his lungs as Mickie ran out of the bathroom at warp speed.

"Time to go, girls!" she announced as she ran into her own room. Michelle and Kelly followed behind her quickly.

"CENA! HARDY! TAKE NO PRISONERS!" Y2J howled from the bathroom.

Maria, however, was still pinned to the mattress by Jeff, who didn't appear willing to let her up anytime soon. To get him to move, she leaned up and kissed him briefly, and merely pushed the now-dazed Charismatic Enigma off of her before getting up and dashing into the girls' room. Once she was inside, Mickie slammed and locked the girls' connector door.

Chris stormed out of the bathroom and over to the connecting doors. John finally managed to stop laughing long enough to nudge Jeff, who finally snapped out of his happy place and both Champions looked at their friend.

"What happened, man?" John asked.

"That conniving minx of a Women's Champ, that's what happened!" Chris yelled. "She flushed my IPhone down the fucking toilet!"

John and Jeff burst out laughing like hyenas as Y2J pounded on the connecting door.

"THAT PHONE COST ME $1500 DOLLARS! THIS MEANS WAR, MICKIE MOUSE!" Chris roared.

"Bring it on, Y2C!" was the response.

Chris smirked. Poor thing, she couldn't even keep his nickname straight!

"It's Y2_J_, sweetheart," he replied.

"I like Y2C better," Mickie's voice floated through the door. "You know, for waY2Conceited!" A fresh round of female laughter came through the door, and even Jeff and John snorted with laughter.

"What'd you call me?!" Chris squawked. He couldn't believe someone thought the great Y2J was full of himself. It wasn't his fault he was the greatest thing since sliced bread.

What was even more frustrating was the silence from the other side of the door.

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Since everyone had the following day off until a house show that night, Kelly decided to drop by one of Spencer's classes. Of course, Mickie, Michelle, and Maria all tagged along, the four of them walking onto the Boston College campus as though they belonged there. After grabbing a course list from the main office, the girls scanned it as they stood in the lobby. Finally Michelle pointed to a particular line on the page:

_THE JAPANESE NAVY - 1900-1945.....Dr. D. Harrison.....Chandler Hall, Room 114_

The girls made their way to the indicated lecture hall and found Room 114. Not surprisingly, there weren't many people in the audience, and most appeared to be asleep.

"Class doesn't start for another five minutes," Michelle remarked after checking her watch to make sure.

Kelly nodded and led the way to the center of the front row, the four Divas sitting side-by-side and fixing their attention on the front of the class.

At exactly five minutes later, a door at the front of the room opened and Spencer strode in, carrying an expensive-looking leather briefcase and wearing a suit jacket and tie. He looked the part of a college professor, although all four Divas found his Three Stooges tie absolutely adorable.

"Good morning, everyone," he greeted, "as I said Thursday, today we'll begin our study of the progression of Japanese destroyer design, with today's portion covering the _Minekaze_-, _Kamikaze_-, and _Mutsuki_-classes. As always, take copious notes, ladies and gentlemen, for the majority of this will be on the final."

He began the lecture, which would've been interesting if the Divas had any idea what he was talking about. He was about halfway through before he glanced at the front row, but to the girls' surprise, showed no reaction at finding them there.

The four Divas glanced at each other and nodded. Time to bring out the heavy artillery.

Michelle was first. She sat forward in her seat and removed her denim jacket, revealing a generously low-cut royal blue tank top. Spencer didn't so much as blink.

Then it was Maria's turn. She pulled a pen out of her purse and idly nibbled on the end. A guy four rows up whimpered and fell out of his seat, but the target at the front of the room merely glanced up at the guy who was now on the floor, rose an eyebrow like Mr. Spock from _Star Trek_, and continued with the lesson.

Next to try was Mickie, who conveniently dropped something onto the floor where she couldn't reach down and get it, forcing her to stand up and bend down to get it. Kelly bit her tongue to keep from laughing as she heard a guy two rows behind her break down and cry softly when the Women's Champ slowly bent over to pick up whatever it was she'd dropped, thereby giving everyone in the room an ample view of her posterior in form-fitting jeans.

When the Divas glanced up to see if Spencer was watching, they found him turned to the dry-erase board, writing something down. Mickie huffed indignantly and stalked back to her seat as her three companions held back laughter at her unseen efforts.

Kelly made sure she had Spencer's attention before making her move. She leaned forward in her seat, the low-cut top she wore providing the professor with a great view, and slowly crossed her legs, which were shown off quite nicely by her denim mini-skirt.

And Spencer damn sure noticed them, for he actually stumbled over his words - albeit briefly - before resuming his lecture. It didn't matter to Kelly that it was only a split-second reaction; she'd gotten one all the same...and she was the only Diva who had.

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Chris Jericho strolled through the mall, having just shelled out another $2,000 for his new IPhone with all the trimmings. He was clutching the bag from the Apple Store like it contained the key to Fort Knox.

_If Mickie Mouse trashes this phone, too, I swear I might go homicidal..._

As he walked past Aladdin's Castle, a large commotion caught his eye. Jeff was playing a first-person shooter game, and was apparently doing quite well from the looks of things. John was standing with the crowd of people, watching as Jeff played against the computer and cheering him on with the rest of them. After a few minutes, a large cheer rose from the group as Jeff took down the head boss and beat the game. He placed the toy gun in its holder, turned to the crowd, and did a victory dance while John watched in amusement.

After ten minutes of signing autographs in the arcade, Chris managed to drag the other two out of the store and down the mall.

"What's your hurry, Jericho? Jeez..." John muttered, finally wresting his sleeve from Chris's grasp.

"In case you forgot, Cena, there is a certain Women's Champ that I need to get revenge on," Chris snapped. "And it just so happens I need your input."

"Ooh! A Spencer's!" Jeff yelled, and headed in that direction, John following eagerly. Chris was about to protest, but considering his friends were nowhere near him now, kept his mouth shut. Besides, he might get some ideas from the store merchandise.

No sooner was he in the store than a display caught his eye. He walked over, picked up one of the items, and scanned the box. The idea came to him almost instantly.

"Perfect..." he trailed off, a smug grin spreading over his face.

Y2J was back on top.

Twenty minutes later, Chris returned to his hotel room and flopped down on the bed. It was amazing how easy it was to use a credit card and open the connecting door to the girls' room. After placing his purchase where it needed to go, all he had to do was wait.

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Mickie walked into the room she was sharing with Kelly, and immediately headed for the bathroom. A nice long bubble bath was just what the doctor ordered. She filled the tub, poured in the bubbles, undressed, and sank down into the tub, reveling in the comfort for a moment before submerging completely. She didn't even notice the bubble bath's color was off slightly...

Ten minutes later, Kelly walked into the hotel room. She and the girls had left the lecture hall without saying anything to Spencer, but she grinned, knowing she had his card so she could call him whenever she wanted.

She was still in happyland, entertaining naughty thoughts about a certain college professor, when a horrified shriek erupted from the bathroom. Maria and Michelle burst in from their room just as Mickie flew out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her.

Her three friends gaped at her in astonishment. The Women's Champion was royal blue from head-to-toe. Even her hair had been dyed that color.

"What _happened_?!" Michelle gasped.

Mickie merely continued to shriek unintelligibly. Had she not been shrieking, the girls would've heard the thump in the room next door, caused by Chris's body rolling off the bed and onto the floor he was laughing so hard.

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Leaving the hotel to head to the arena that night was a joy unto itself. Mickie bundled up completely so as not to draw attention to herself, but of course Chris was the first person she saw upon leaving her room. Y2J looked her up and down strangely.

"Hey, Mickie Mouse, why do you look like one of the spoiled little rich kids from _Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory_?"

Mickie's only response was to give Chris a death glare and storm down the hallway. Chris merely smiled after her and strolled to the elevators.

The Women's Champ's night went downhill from there. Vince wouldn't even take pity on her and let her have the night off from a match, so she had to put on her wrestling gear and head out to the ring to face Jillian. Of course, this gave Chris the opportunity to pay the guy who played the entrance themes $500 to play Eiffel 65's "_Blue_" instead of Mickie's entrance music when she headed down to the ring. Afterward, the poor guy was nearly ready to quit when Mickie got finished with him, especially after threatening to sic The Undertaker on the guy.

Now, back at the hotel, she was waiting for the elevator when someone approached her.

"Excuse me, miss?"

Mickie turned to see a really handsome man about her age smiling down at her.

"I'm real sorry to bother you, but could I have your autograph?"

Mickie smiled flirtatiously and started signing her name on the piece of paper the guy had provided when he continued.

"I'm a huge fan of Blue Man Group...it's a real honor to meet you!"

The Women's Champ froze in her tracks, and then someone burst out laughing. She glanced over to see Chris Jericho laughing his ass off in an elevator, heading up to his room. She'd been so preoccupied with the 'fan' that she'd failed to notice an elevator had arrived, and Y2J had snagged it from right under her nose.

Then all the events of the night gelled, and she suddenly knew who was responsible for her 'new look'. The 'fan', manwhile, was now stammering wildly after taking in the murderous look on her face.

"I-I'm sorry, ma'am...he put me up to it! It was all his idea! Again, sorry!" He apologized a second time before running off, obviously quite eager to get away from the psychotic-looking blue woman.

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Mickie took the next elevator up to her room, where she found Jericho standing outside his door waiting for her with a shit-eating grin on his face. She stalked up to him with a death glare and pointed her finger directly in his face.

"I'm gonna get even...don't think I won't. And when I do, you're gonna wish you'd never started this by recording our pillow fight in the first place."

Chris shrugged. "You probably will get me back eventually. But until then, I'm gonna enjoy every minute of this while it lasts."

He gave her a smirk that said, '_Everyone loves me and you're jealous_', and then strolled down the hall to the vending machines, singing loudly.

"Blue skies, smilin' at me...blue skies from now on..."

Mickie wanted to topple one of those vending machines onto him. Instead, she had to settle for slamming her hotel room door so hard the wall shook.

Chris laughed as he continued down the hall. The first victory of the 'war' was his.

**R&R, please!**


End file.
